This and That

I hate having to cancel gigs. It just sucks. At the same time, I really hate rushing into things and not being totally confident on what we're doing on a stage (or, I dunno, being one man down). So you win some, you lose some, I guess. You certainly don't make any friends using the pull-out method, but you don't win any fans by sucking, either.

Still, there's a lot that needs doing and this does take the pressure off, no need to rehearse for that gig, promote it, etc. Booking and promoting are such a drag and right now drag is not what I need, doesn't help with the productivity. We have plenty of material for the Ben Franklin record at this point, but I want to have just a couple more new ones ready to roll, and I really need to sit down for a few hours with a couple of the existing tunes and work on them just a bit more, lyrics-wise.

So here's to rock and roll, hopefully it gets done. It's funny how you can't force yourself to be creative, but you do have to (or, I find that I have to) force myself to sit down and work, and that's when creativity gets a swing at bat.

While I'm on a ramble: "Help, I'm alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer!" I can't get enough of that fucking song. I mean, Christ, it's haunting me. The way it shifts from one part to the next evokes really sympathetic notions in me of memories and dreams blending with real life, and of a feeling of awful disassociation with other people. It's amazing how a song about something like that can make us feel good, despite that even as a listener it might cause you to dig up painful memories.